Thursday, May 26, 2011


This is not my story but I found it on someone's blog who also claim that this is not his story either...If you are the owner of this story I hope you dont mind me sharing it on my blog....


4 years ago, an accident took my beloved wife away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to taking care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bed sheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation.

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the christmas spirit is in every passer-by...Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy.

My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him: " But why did u post so many letters, at one time?" My son's reply was: " I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."
After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.....

I told my son, " Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldnt help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason.

Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why havent you appear?

After reading the letter, I can’t stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....


Mummy and Daddy, both are forever irreplaceable....
A child needs both of them...

and I cried too..... :(

Gambar hanya hiasan semata-mata, tidak ada kena mengena dengan yang hidup atau yang belum hidup...

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Editing IR : White Balance

White Balance plays an important role in determining the output colour of infrared. We can use white paper to produce white-white balance, grey colour, green grass or blue sky as white balance.

Use your preset white balance tools inside the camera. You may want to check your camera's manual on how to do it.

we can use grey ceilings, grey roadside, grey cement, grey car or grey door to preset your white balance.

I am using an A4 plain white paper preset in direct hot sun...some said that A4 white paper contains cyan but thats the best that I can there anything whiter than white paper?

But for me I just use the white - white balance as we can always and easily change the white balance inside Nikon Capture NX2. Ahh..yes, another tip for you, for infrared, always shoot in RAW..... RAW is rocks!

Till then....keep shooting..

Nikon D80 Pulse Infrared from
Location : Tg. Aru Beach, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia

Monday, May 23, 2011

I Love Full Infrared

This is the first time I edited a full infrared photo. In a split of a second I know the unique power of full infrared as I can easily dig into its high dynamic range of tones. I also able to find and produce the color I wanted, not the plain one but with shaded tones.

Test drive Djasz Freestyler's new full infrared modified camera before handing it over to him. I admit feeling a little regrets for not choosing full IR in the first place. However I still love my infrared version of pulse as I can control the colour of a model's hair anyway I like. With full IR, the hair must be separated loosely to let the ray shine on the hair before we can change its colour. Otherwise it will be just plain black....

Georgeous yellowish golden colour of grass....
The purple leaves actually a dried leaves with a dull colour of grey..

Awesome shining yellow...

Nikon D5000 Full Infrared Version from
Location : Sepanggar, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

The 13th Person

Since a few years ago I am quite used to drive from Kota Kinabalu to Sandakan back and forth, and even alone since last year. It takes around six hours drive to Sandakan where you need full focus on the road due to the 'challenging' road condition. Challenging means a lot of damage road with large holes and uneven road (which makes you feel like on a roller coaster...), yeah thats the road from Kota Kinabalu to Sandakan and worsen between Telupid and Sandakan....its awfull.....

These poor road condition due to the fact that it is being used everyday by large vechicles, huge lorries and big trucks. What they should do is to make a different road for these type of vehicles. The road between Telupid and Sandakan only stay lovely not even for a year before holes started appearing everywhere....such a waste of my money...hahahhaa...

Well thats not my main story for today. Last April I drove from Kota Kinabalu to Brunei....and alone...well for a few pretty good reason if you are wondering why..... Armed with a printed map and early research using wikimapia, I started the journey at 9.00 am. Contrary with the road on the east coast of Sabah, this west side road quite good with a lot of informative signboard along the way. Quite good and straight road condition has a side effect on me where I was trying my best to stay focus. You see...when it is so easy there's no excitement anymore....:)

Before entering Brunei, you have to pass through four imigration checkpoint. It was like this SABAH - (Sindumin Checkpoint) - SARAWAK - (Labu Checkpoint) - BRUNEI - (Puni / Temburong Checkpoint) - SARAWAK - (Kuala Lurah Checkpoint) - BRUNEI

The ferry...of Malaysia and Brunei...between Puni and Kuala Lurah

The Pandaruan River....

After Puni Imigration Checkpoint, a ferry was used to cross the Pandaruan River. A ferry! mind you...for less than 100 metres wide of the river. I could not even manage to breath peacefully when it already arrived at the other side of the river bank...!

Infrard motorcylists on the ferry...a Sarawak's plat number...

Manage to get a few infrared shots of these beside my car...

And this picture of Pandaruan River from the ferry, in Infrared...

Finally I arrived at Kuala Lurah Imigration Checkpoint to enter Brunei at 2.00pm. There I was greeted by my hub with a disbelief look on his face....hahahaha....
I have arrived on my own.......oohhh yeeesssssss!!! such a wonderful feeling....I really feel good.... :)

But then there was a problem with my passport. I was referred to a handsome and fair skin of Brunei imigration officer who said to me - "Kau adalah orang yang ketiga belas yang perlu pusing balik ke imigration Puni untuk cop balik paspot yang salah cop!"

Oh my God!! MasyaAllah!! I have to turned around back to Puni Imigration Checkpoint to stamp back my passport which was wrongly stamped. How on earth could I miss read the label at Puni Imigration, and why on this planet earth that imigration officer at the counter did not counter check my passport.....I was shocked and blank...I tried to persuade the officer to let me just pass by but was informed that I will have major problems when going out of Brunei....

(* Pusing balik ke Puni bah itu ...dua jam pergi, dua jam balik, naik balik tu feri lagi, kurang asam betul....bukan alang-alang punya jauh...mau cancel sudah sampai Brunei, jauh lagi kalau balik ke KK....aduhhh....kejamnya dunia...hahahhaa....sakitnya hati, geramnya bukan main....nda tau mau marah siapa...marah diri sendiri la kan...jem ba otak drive jalan lurus terlampau lama kali...kakakkaa....sib baik bukan aku sudah yang drive pusing balik tu, jd sempat jugalah mengatik....kasi sajuk hati dulu la kunun.....=))

It took four hours to go to Puni and back to Kuala Lurah Imigration Check Point. We finally arrived at Bandar Seri Begawan around 7.30 pm that night......What can I say..? It was an amazing experience with a little bit of stupid mistake that makes it more mesmerizing...wakakakkaa...

So, introducing me....Surie Aziz..."The 13th Person" =)

And who will be the lucky 14th?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Remember Who You Are

Style is a voice, not a prop or an action. If you can buy it, borrow it, download it, or steal it, it is not a style.
Don’t look outward for your style; look inward.

Know your stuff. Luck is a nice thing, but a terrifying thing to rely on. It’s like money; you only have it when you don’t need it.

Never apologize for your own sense of beauty. Nobody can tell you what you should love. Do what you do brazenly and unapologetically. You cannot build your sense of aesthetics on a consensus.

Say no. Say it often. It may be difficult, but you owe it to yourself and your clients. Turn down jobs that don’t fit you, say no to overbooking yourself. You are no good to anyone when you’re stressed and anxious.

Learn to say “I’m a photographer” out loud with a straight face. If you can’t say it and believe it, you can’t expect anyone else to, either.

You cannot specialize in everything.

Know your style before you hang out your shingle. If you don’t, your clients will dictate your style to you. That makes you nothing more than a picture taker. Changing your style later will force you to start all over again, and that’s tough.

Accept critique, but don’t apply it blindly. Just because someone said it does not make it so. Critiques are opinions, nothing more. Consider the advice, consider the perspective of the advice giver, consider your style and what you want to convey in your work. Implement only what makes sense to implement. That doesn’t not make you ungrateful, it makes you independent.

Leave room for yourself to grow and evolve. It may seem like a good idea to call your business “Precious Chubby Tootsies”….but what happens when you decide you love to photograph seniors? Or boudoir?

Remember that if your work looks like everyone else’s, there’s no reason for a client to book you instead of someone else. Unless you’re cheaper. And nobody wants to be known as “the cheaper photographer”.

Gimmicks and merchandise will come and go, but honest photography is never outdated.

It’s easier to focus on buying that next piece of equipment than it is to accept that you should be able to create great work with what you’ve got. Buying stuff is a convenient and expensive distraction. Spend money on equipment ONLY when you’ve outgrown your current equipment and you’re being limited by it.

Learn that people photography is about people, not about photography. Great portraits are a side effect of a strong human connection.

Never forget why you started taking pictures in the first place. Excellent technique is a great tool, but a terrible end product. The best thing your technique can do is not call attention to itself.

Never compare your journey with someone else’s. It’s a marathon with no finish line. Someone else may start out faster than you, may seem to progress more quickly than you, but every runner has his own pace. Your journey is your journey, not a competition. You will never “arrive”. No one ever does.

Embrace frustration. It pushes you to learn and grow, broadens your horizons, and lights a fire under you when your work has gone cold. Nothing is more dangerous to an artist than complacence.

Words of Inspiration from Cheryl Jacobs Nicolai

Monday, May 16, 2011

New Life New Hope

Olympus SP590UZ Macro Mode
Location : Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia

Thursday, May 12, 2011

A Photo With Mood

Mood is a state or quality of feeling at a particular time. A Mood in a photo has the power of absorbing the audience into the photo, to feel the emotion, to sense the direction, to be able to create multiple stories in a single scene and allowing their imagination roaming in relaxation....

So what elements will contribute in creating a moody photo? From my tiny experience I could say that colors and textures are some of the contributing factors. Colors will create tones. Tones will spark your attention. Textures, when added to tones shall grabbed your emotion.

Other factors as you may already know are bokeh, long exposures, shooting into the light (or backlighting), low light, black and white, and fog. I am still practising though.... :)

And I can't deny that I love artistic photos so much.....and I love Chris Friel's moody expression of artwork....just awesome....

Talent : Raychell
Nikon D90 with Nikkor 18-105mm
Location : Tg. Aru Beach, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Sunset Mood

Sunset mends a dry heart, a dying heart.....

Sunset generates an extra warmth to a beautiful heart....

Sunset releases unwanted energy from a gloomy heart.....

Let the sunset heals today's mood for a better tomorrow.... :)

Nikon D90 with Nikkor 18-105mm
Location : Tg. Aru Beach, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia

Setting Down

Minutes left behind, Life went by..
Enjoy or suffer with it, thats the choice we had made...
Whatever will be...then be with it...
Future is never ours to see...
So set down, take a breath, just let go.....

- Surie Aziz -

Nikon D90 with Nikkor 18-105mm
Location : Mengkabong Bridge, Tuaran, Sabah, Malaysia

Monday, May 9, 2011

Rise of The Sun

Darkness began to fade, with chill disappeared in the air...
Warmth filling the horizon, brightness clearing all misery...
Open the soul of trust, embrace the smell of the happiness...
Rise of the sun, a new wish shall risen....

- Surie Aziz -

Nikon D90 with Nikkor 18-105mm
Location : Mengkabong Bridge, Tuaran, Sabah, Malaysia

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Tajul & Yusnie

It was a fun and enjoyable moment filled with laughter working with this lovely couple, Tajul & Yusnie alongside Jebat.Net's photographers, Kasturi Bintang Hati and Farhannah Ummi. We began with intro's photo of Tajul & Yusnie at UMS, while waiting for Hafiz to show us the way to our intended location.

We started shooting along the beach of UMS and quite surprised when Hafiz informed us that we had to climb a not so high hill before we can get to the village. We were lucky to have a 'sporting' couple who dare to accept the challenge and joined us counting the steps of the hill..

This must be a famous spot for couples dating and making lots of promises....'Janji Playboy' or 'A Playboy's Promises' carved at the big rock. =)

And the fun began when everybody started to relax prior to the hill climbing. Tajul started teasing Yusnie all the way and we could'nt stop laughing...It felt like a real pre-wedding session.

We wish a forever happy ever after for both of you Tajul & Yusnie. Dont forget us on your wedding day.... :)

And a BIG thank you for such a great time to Kasturi, Ummi and Hafiz. See you soon...

Please view Tajul & Yusnie in Pulse Infrared version here and here...... =)

Pre Wedding of Tajul & Yusnie
A Pre Wedding III by Jebat.Net Photography

Nikon D90 With Nikkor 18-105mm
Location : Universiti Malaysia Sabah, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Flower In My Eyes

A lot can be seen fresh in the morning with lots of insects crawling their way out to find food. These flowers are quite tiny, smaller than a 5 cents syillings. Using my Olympus, I crawled myself out in the crispy morning looking at my parents backyard in a new perspective...observing everything tiny, cute and interesting.....

Hmmm....Its a pity I dont even know the names of this flowers above. Oh yes I remember it was the flowers of Red Guava fruits (Jambu Mawar bah...)

Ok, I know this orchid...pretty obvious :)
An orchid bloomed longer than most other flowers for instance a Rose. Look closely at the orchid above and we can see a spider's delicate string already constructed around the flowers looking for prey. Think hard and work smart, must be the philosophy of the spiders....

And this tiny lovely white flower caught my attention. Very-very small indeed but reminds me of a bride's gown...sweeeeeetttt....:)

Do I edit all these photos.....??
Ok I admit..yes...I do feel guilty doing editing, as some photographers out there really looks down upon an edited photos, I can assure you I dont want to but my hand moves anyway..hahahaha
.....poor me...=)

Olmpus SP590UZ Bridge Camera
Location : Taman Tinosan, Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia

Friday, May 6, 2011

Light and Shadow

Nikon D90 with Nikkor 18-105mm
Location : Sultan Omar Ali Saifuddin Mosque, Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei Darussalam

Legendary Skies

One of God's great gift to us, the blue skies.
Seen everyday but did you see it?
Admiring the blueness of the sky but can you feel it?

See and feel the love of Allah's towards us.
Whatever you do, no matter how bad things you had done before..... come back to the right path.....

I'm not coming back around, but I'm coming back home..
To where I belong....

Nikon D90 with 18-105mm
Location : Up In The Air of Brunei Darussalam

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Tamparuli Bridge in IR

One of the advantages of infrared photography is the ability of producing an interesting even an awesome scenery from a non-interesting, usual, flat and dull looking scenery. It is solely base on the fact that we can change the 'usual' color of flat and highly contrast photos into a different perspective view. Of course we still have to follow the basic rules of photography such as composition and exposure.

Bring your normal camera to capture sunrise with the fresh, crispy color of morning lighting, aim your infrared camera in the hot, blasting, full contrast midday sun, then enjoy the lovely moment of golden sunset with your normal camera. Its an all day long self satisfaction and enjoyment...

Nikon D80 Pulse Infrared
Location : Tamparuli Suspension Bridge, Tamparuli, Sabah

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Black Blue Water of Brunei

Custom Infrared Modified Camera
Location : Taman Rekreasi Sijampang, Sungai Besar, Kota Batu, Brunei Darussalam

Blog Archive


the more powerful the photo, the less it makes viewers think about photographic technique, and the more viewers tend to think of the subject matter, with technique forgotten.

Harold Davis (Photo.Net)

  © Free Blogger Templates 'Photoblog II' by 2008

Back to TOP